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Last
Call with Mallory: Triple H, Chyna,
Macho vs. Hogan, and Braising Kane By Mallory Mahling,
Lounge Gal
Sep 6, 2003, 8:55 am
September means back to school, so on the
Lounge DVD player today is "Rock 'n'
Roll High School." Help yourself to
some popcorn from the Lounge Snack Bar and
let's talk about the week that was.
By the way, WWE Shop Zone has just the thing
for back to school -- a Rey Mysterio
backpack. You might want to leave the
"F*ck Fear" and "Drink or
Fight" tee shirts home, though.
It's a Miracle.
WWE had us on the edges of our seats for
nearly a week. When Raw went off the air a
week ago, Kane had just fallen into a
blazing dumpster. How could he have
survived? Then came the results of the
August 29 house show in Memphis . . . and
the answer to the question. The main event
was Kane vs. Rob Van Dam in a cage. There's
a rule of thumb that if it didn't happen on
TV, it didn't happen. Be that as it may, the
news that he'd recovered sufficiently to
work a house show four days after being
incinerated certainly watered down the
must-see element of Monday night's Raw.
As it happened, the cliffhanger turned out
like all the others over the past few weeks
-- with an "Eh" instead of an
"Oooo" or an "Ahhh."
When the fire had been extinguished, Kane
wasn't in the dumpster. He'd simply
disappeared. Poof! Up in smoke, if you will.
Well, I guess the house show results were a
sign of things to come, since Kane and Rob
Van Dam will be facing off in a cage next
week in a match cleverly positioned to lure
viewers away from the kickoff of Monday
Night Football. After three straight weeks
of hollow promises, they'd better deliver
this time.
What is the deal with the McMahons and their
grapefruits? They seem to spend an
inordinate amount of time working their body
parts into storylines.
And just a thought about Smackdown. How many
of you would love to see the newly
monsterfied Brock Lesnar beat up Bob Holly
every week instead of Zach Gowen?
Music to Soothe the "Savage"
Beast.
What do former wrestlers do when the muse
strikes them? Apparently some of them get
into the music business.
Randy Savage made news this week with the
announcement that he is about to release a
rap CD. You'll probably want to be first in
line to pick up a copy of "Be a
Man" when it's released on October 7.
"It's got 13 hits on there, and it's
gonna be rocking the house. Ooooh yeeeaaah!"
Savage told MTV.com. "Right now I'm all
about it. This is everything to me. . . .
Now we're ready to take this thing on the
road, man! I've been loving music all my
life. Music's been a part of me. Now I'm
going to put the power on. We're going to
rock the country; we're going to rock the
world." (Ooooh brother!)
While there is a song on the CD that pays
tribute to the late Curt Hennig ("My
Perfect Friend"), Savage seems intent
on using his singing (and I use the term
loosely) to goad Hulk Hogan into a match at
WrestleMania XX in Madison Square Garden.
(The fact that neither one of them works for
WWE didn't seem to get in the way of
Savage's scheming.) "Every time I call
him out, the dude has 101 reasons why not to
fight the 'Macho Man' Randy Savage. I know
the fans are demanding it, especially when
you get to the hip-hop culture. We got him
boxed in right now, and I think the fans
want to see Hogan and Savage fight it out
one more time." The fans are demanding
it??? *Heavy sigh*
Macho Man as a rapper puts me in mind of
that song from "Peter Pan": I'll
never grow up, never grow up, n-e-v-e-r grow
up!
* * *
Coincidentally, Joanie Laurer also has a CD
coming out on October 7. As "Chynna
Doll," she can be heard singing backup
on "2X CENTRIX," with Reggie
Benjamin as lead vocalist. Chynna Doll is
apparently handy with the drumsticks on the
hip hop/rock offering, too.
Look for Laurer in an upcoming Adam Pollina
film in which she plays a bully who is
challenged by a double-amputee. *Another
heavy sigh*
Political Partying.
Triple H's bachelor party is sure to be well
attended. The date is set, and the
invitations are in the mail, figuratively
speaking. Triple H was thoughtful enough to
schedule it for after the September 16
Smackdown taping in Raleigh, North Carolina,
and invited the Raw talent to stay on the
road an extra day so that everybody can
attend the festivities. Everybody
likely means all Raw and Smackdown talent
who know what's good for them. Enjoy! Or
else!
Wonder what Stephanie has in mind for her
bachelorette party?
A Different Kind of "Survivor
Series."
You've probably heard by now that there is
an intriguing wrestling connection to
"Survivor: Pearl Islands." The
popular CBS reality show, which is set for a
90-minute season debut on Thursday,
September 18, lists Jon Dalton among the
castaways who will be doing whatever it
takes to capture the $1 Million prize. Not
only does Dalton list the Pro Wrestling
Torch Newsletter among his favorite
magazines, he once worked as a production
assistant for the irrepressible Rowdy Roddy
Piper. Chances are working for Hot Rod
prepared him well for dealing with the
wildlife he'll find on the island. Dalton is
a heavy favorite to be the castaway you'll
love to hate this time around.
If you're a Torch VIP member, you're
probably familiar with Dalton, a/k/a Johnny
Fairplay, as he posts periodically in the
VIP Forum.
So what does this 29-year-old art consultant
think qualifies him to survive on the
island? According to his profile at
www.cbs.com, he "claims he is 'smarter
than the average bear,' with great
organizational skills, leadership ability, a
strong work ethic and doesn't leave things
unfinished." Famous last words of many
who were voted off past islands.
But what's he really like? His bio says his
favorite flowers are plastic; his favorite
TV shows include Raw and Smackdown; and
tanning on the beach is a favorite activity.
Sounds like he's in the right place for
catching rays.
Join me in wishing Jon Dalton luck on
"Survivor: Pearl Islands." If
you're a hardcore "Survivor" fan
like me, you've probably got it marked on
your calendar already.
Tale of the Tapes.
WWE announced this week that Tom Barreca had
been appointed Senior Vice President of the
company's newly launched business unit. It's
expected he will lead business development
efforts in digital and video products. WWE's
vast video library, including footage from
WCW, ECW, and AWA, will be within Barreca's
purview, as well. According to the WWE press
release, his background includes
successfully utilizing "Hanna-Barbera/Cartoon
Network's character and video libraries to
create new revenue streams and
partnerships."
Said Linda McMahon, CEO and Mature Diva,
"Tom has a proven track record of using
video libraries and intellectual properties
to create new businesses and
revenue-generating opportunities. In true
business-speak, she added, "We expect
him to hit the ground running."
Personally, I hope once he hits the ground,
he runs straight to those ECW tapes and
works his magic.
School Daze.
Have you ever wondered what it's like to run
a wrestling school? "Your Rolemodel"
Ric Lieb, a fixture in Ohio's United
Wrestling Council, has been training
wrestlers and sharing his passion for the
business for just over a year now. In May of
2002, Ric opened the Fortitude School of
Wrestling.
Where is the school located? "It
depends on the weather," he answered
with a grin. Although Lieb prefers to put
his students through their paces outdoors,
he borrowed an idea from Stu Hart, noted for
training wrestlers in his basement
"dungeon," by transforming his
Akron garage into a training facility.
Ric is the best kind of teacher, eager to
share his knowledge and expertise in the
ring. He notes that he often finds himself
becoming a mark for his students. "I
can't help but cheer these guys on when they
get out there and perform, because I can
remember when they didn't know how to take a
basic back bump. To see these same guys not
only go out there and work, but to get a
great crowd reaction for how well they
perform, it's exciting."
Lieb has strong words about the Tough Enough
style of training. "Let me say that I
disagree with the manner in which Tough
Enough training is done. Training is a lot
different than what you're seeing on Tough
Enough, and I personally think that show
gives trainers like myself a bad name when
they treat students the way they do."
When asked how long it takes before a
student is ring ready, Ric indicated that
"it usually takes anywhere between nine
months to a full year before someone is ring
ready, but truth be told, it really depends
on the student. I have one student who
trained for three months, and he caught on
so quickly that he was able to get into the
ring that quickly. He still trains, but now
it's to sharpen skills and keep himself from
getting cold."
Ric makes it clear from the beginning that
there is no guarantee that his students will
be able to make it to the UWC, the
federation he is affiliated with. That said,
Ric has a pretty good track record for
placing talent in that federation and into
the television spotlight. Like a proud
parent, he says, "As we speak, I have
six students who have been given the
opportunity to showcase their talents on TV
-- Rip Cripple, Vinn Wilder, Purple Hooter,
Animal, Mike Smiley and Mardi Gras."
You may recall from my interview with Ric
several months ago that he'd just come back
from an injury. Since then, he says,
"I've compiled a pretty good winning
streak, and come very close to capturing the
UWC World Heavyweight Title on two
occasions. On Saturday, September 6 (at
Akron North High School) I will be facing my
most hated rival ever, TimeBomb Fred Potok,
in the first ever Lumberjack Platters match.
What is that, you may ask? "The ring
will be surrounded by lumberjacks bearing
silver platters to bash over the heads of
the poor man who falls out of the
ring," explained Ric, who is well known
for using silver platters as plunder. I have
never beaten TimeBomb, but I feel pretty
good about this one, because I have a backup
plan. If you're not cheating, you're not
trying hard enough," he added with a
twinkle in his eye.
If you'd like to know more about "Your
Rolemodel" Ric Lieb, you can visit
Planet Rolemodel at www.rolemodel.8m.com. If
you're in the Northeast Ohio area, you can
catch the weekly UWC TV tapings every
Tuesday evening at 8:00 p.m. at Shamrock's
Nite Club in Barberton, Ohio. The shows air
Sundays at noon on the CAT, Channel 29 in
Akron and Channel 35 in Cleveland.
"These shows are well worth the
trip," he promises, "and the
entertainment is a lot more exciting than
what you may see out of that one big
promotion on Spike TV."
Mmmmm . . . Donuts.
Bradshaw appeared on the Fox News market
watch program, "Bulls and Bears,"
last weekend and shared a few investment
tips, including his prediction that Krispy
Kreme and K-Mart would go down. While I'll
agree with him on K-Mart, I would strongly
disagree with his thoughts on Krispy Kreme.
He indicated that the tasty treats were
doomed because Americans are becoming more
health conscious. Health conscious or not,
Krispy Kreme aficionados will always find a
way to work them into their diets. They are
simply the best donuts on the planet . . .
and a real guilty pleasure.
Bradshaw will be signing copies of his book,
Have More Money Now, at the following
locations this month:
Today (September 6)
Frisco, Texas
Grand opening of Toys R Us at Shafer Plaza,
2871 Preston Road, beginning at noon.
Although this is not a book signing and
copies of the book will not be
available, if you already own a copy,
Bradshaw will gladly autograph it.
September 18
Mesquite, Texas
Borders Books & Music, 2709 North
Mesquite Drive beginning at 7:00 p.m.
September 25
Houston, Texas
Borders Books & Music, 570 Meyerland
Plaza, beginning at 7:30 p.m.
"You've Got Mail."
John Morano of New Jersey had this to say
about this week's Raw:
Same as last week, Raw is just becoming too
fake. Lawler screams about boobs. J.R. ends
the show screaming like someone is trying to
steal his wallet. Luckily there was a good
college football game on at the same time.
All I know is Raw is in bad shape,
especially with Monday Night Football
starting next week.
Note: If you've sent me an e-mail in the
last week or so, I'm not ignoring you. I
didn't get it due to a temporary problem
with the e-mail forwarding system. For the
time being, you can write to me at mallory_m_@hotmail.com.
I love feedback and I'd love to hear from
you.
* * *
That's it for this week. I'll see you on
Monday night for Raw and back here in The
Lounge next Saturday.
Mallory Mahling also writes a Raw
"Virtual Time" Report every Monday
night for PWTorch.com. You can write to her
at mallory_m_@hotmail.com.
